Sep 2023
22
I didn't know it at the time, but it all began when I lost her
Everything I pour into Gathered Stories is to inspire and encourage everyday moments to be created, savoured & remembered. For I know it’s what really matters. Loosing her, taught me this.
Visiting my grandparents felt almost like a daily occurrence, growing up. We would arrive at their little white cottage upon the hill. The white picket gate and beautiful Georgian windows. It was something you only imagined in fairytales and inside it transported you to another world. A house of grandeur and comfort, yet it never felt that brash and entitled. Full of antiques, my Nanny had intentionally collected to dress each room fit to welcome an aristocrat from the 1800’s! She loved to create what she couldn’t afford. She reupholstered furniture, made all the curtains and even painted beautiful pieces of art to hang in each room. Both my Grandparents worked so hard for everything they built, but you could clearly see it was Nanny’s vision and talent that curated that whimsical home.
Nanny was a gracious woman. Duty bound, never one to complain and had a devilish sense of fun. Her style encapsulated the beauty and glamour of the 1950’s, yet she wore it all so effortlessly. Never loosing touch of how she grew up with nothing, a make-do and mend attitude and ‘it’ll do for now’ approach.
Loosing Nanny was the end of a chapter. I had lost both Grandparents. No one left to ask about the past, it was on those who remained to remember. I had lost loved ones before Nanny, but somehow this hit in a way I wasn’t expecting. I turned to my memories of her. As a family, we laughed and reminisced about her antics. Found childhood memories flooded to the forefront.
It was so beautiful to morn someone by remembering the joy they gave us, the moments.
Throughout this time of finding a new normal and life without her, something unexpected happened. Her beautiful little white cottage was gifted to my brother & I. The intention and agreement of everyone, was that I should keep the house if I wished. Buy my brother out and restore this old beauty of a house. Caught up in the nostalgic moments and happy reminiscence, my husband and I agreed. Little did I know what I had embarked on.
If you have ever lived in a home of someone you have lost, unchanged after their last moments, it is an odd and unsettling feeling. To morn them whilst in every turn you are reminded of them, was something I never imagined I would have to endure. Being in Nanny’s home was difficult in the beginning. A light switch sound, the smell of the gas stove on, the window seat empty. It made it very apparent she had gone.
I am someone who tries to find the silver lining within dark clouds. I know moving to this house was a true blessing. Not only were we gifted the opportunity to be custodians of my Grandparents house and make our own stories in this magical little white house, but she gave me true closure. A lesson of loss and how to embrace the everyday moments that actually remind you life is precious and to live it!
Nanny inspired me, more than I realised. Her taste in fashion and interiors, my obsession with the colour white. I now can see that my talents aren’t far dissimilar to her’s either. Now living in her home I’m not only inspired by her, but I’ve gained greater understanding of who I am. Everything I pour into this blog is my legacy. The stories that have shaped and inspired me. A chance to inspire as she inspired me.
